Isolation

As I try to add content to my blog, I work to find blogs to follow.  I've found some meant for family members, and some political blogs that are sharp and cutting though frequently poorly written and highly partisan.  I've found quality writing that doesn't connect with me at all, and I've found poorly written accounts of life that could have flowed from my fingers.

After reading, and researching, I think to myself, "How unimportant your words are.  No one will care", (they really probably don't, judging by the facts that no one has ever visited my blog but me).  I justify the time (little though it is) given to crafting it by saying "It's a diary, just a place for your thoughts - only yours.  No one else needs to read it to be important to you". 

I find that at the end of my debate, if I tell myself this is only for me, I am a little sad, but willing to still write about trivia.  And why am I sad?  When I created this, I chose a title that implies that I'm writing of nothing different, or unusual, or worth reading.  After all, I'm just another mom.  I knew very well that this would be a private effort.  I know that if I want someone to read my words, that I need to move on to writing about politics (I'm not decisive enough for that) or literature, or something important.  But maybe this is just what I need.  Maybe my children will read it someday, and it will be another place for them to learn of their childhood and their mother from the filter of a boring grownup.